Family Mediation Center

1,000s of Satisfied Clients • Free 30 Minute Consultation
Phone: (480) 949-9511


Joy Borum, J.D.,

Mediator/Attorney (retired) 


Our society pushes thinking as the all, the everything, the answer...the "boss of you." Or, if you're saying it to yourself, you see your thoughts and feel them  as the "boss of me." Worse, people are often given the message that to use the heart - whether meant romantically or as a mushy means to ponder and reach decisions, is stupid. And Heaven forbid, you should consult the Soul during confused, hurting, conflicted, angry, sad times: this is often characterized as you giving away the ranch, giving-up or in, as unrealistic, or being overridden.


Contrary to unhelpful cultural messages, lessons learned in the past, perhaps experiences now, you as a human are not that one-sided or simple. You are not a one-celled blob floating in a murky sea at the mercy of the storms and waves. Though you and life can feel like that sometimes, you are not an anonymous amoeba. Thank goodness.


You are a wonderfully multi-faceted, multiply abled be-ing capable of operating on more than one cylinder at a time: You can think, feel, and move from your whole self - at the same time Perhaps not right this moment. This is a learned thing and you can learn how to do it. Not without the occasional or beginning sputters, stall-outs, and intermittent progress and stoppages. However, you.can.use.your.whole.self. 


And given support, information, and time, you can build your forward path using all of your self. Yes, even during the worst of times. Not perfectly, not every moment, not even every day or week. However, you CAN do this. It is built into your DNA, your head, heart, and Soul.


To paraphrase an unknown philosopher, "Hang around only those who have a smile on their face when they see you coming and who have no hidden agenda for the betterment of you."


May I add, when the face is your face in the mirror, say, "I can use all of myself as best I can today. I can unlearn unhelpful stuff, surround myself with helpful people, and build the future I need, desire, and deserve."